Alright raise your hand if you have ever been ganged up on and backstabbed by people or a person you thought was a friend... That's right A LOT of you out their have! This is a story of my backstabber and what I think about all of this kind of drama that should be left in high school crap:
* I will not use real names (it's just easier to still use some kind of name instead of he said she said he said she said...)
-Geoff is my bf so I'm still going to call him Geoff...
So I met Geoff through a friend and we started to hang out and stuff you know regular cliche of how two people meet and obviously we hit it off, and it wasn't too much longer before we started really dating and he became my bf. He had a friend named *Debbie who he was really close with, and in all seriousness I understood this b/c I also had a friend (a male) who I was very close with and neither of us wanted these friendships to go sour b/c we were together. At first I didn't really talk to *Debbie all that much Geoff and I kept our friends pretty seperate in the beginning, nothing was that serious we had just started dating. Then I started to hang out with *Debbie some and she was a really nice person (so I thought) and after awhile I really considered her a great friend, at one point I would say that she was my best girlfriend, in all seriousness we had great times! One downfall though was Geoff and I, we had some trouble in the beginning of our relationship, neither one of us had been in a serious relationship before so to no suprise there was some turbulence but I always kept those real problems to myself and I think this is where all the negetive aspects start to kick in. Geoff told *Debbie about something personal that him and I had talked about and come on, I was pissed! I know that *Debbie was his best friend but the business between him and I makes it my business too and *Debbie had no right no know. She came at me going you're wrong, you're wrong it's just a guy thing, and I'm sorry "guy thing" my ASS it's called respect and I don't care what gender you are, to me that's what a relationship is based on, respect, if you really think about it you respect someone if you're honest with them and that's why there is no need to bring up honesty and respect is my one word. Then Geoff and I got a lot better and closer, and this must have been another point at which *Debbie started to get mad. I know all too well how it is to "lose" a friend to them getting a significant other, I've had this happen too, but you don't really LOSE them you are just friends with them on a more distant scale. Unfortunately, this takes MATURITY and not a lot of people have it. You have to let your friend go, it's sad that you can't hang out with them as much anymore and you don't have that same bond where you can just call them and they'll be there but they've found someone who is special and relationships are work, you might not believe me but if you're in a long term one they are! You just have to know that your friend is happy and arn't trying to butt you out of their life completely. *Debbie told Geoff that I was too controling and that he should be able to do whatever he wants without me being in the way, but another thing that comes with respect is sacrafice and I think this is the all relationship killer because no one wants to sacrafice anything especially men. I felt I was too controlling about some situations I do admit that completely but I was trying to fight my own demons and I apologized when I felt I had been wrong or when Geoff made me realize that I was being a little neurotic. In all seriousness though I wasn't that controlling. There would be times that I would just not be in a good mood and be like "well I'm leaving the party early because I'm not in a good mood and tired." There were also times I wasn't getting along with Geoff the best and I would just be mad at him so I would go home or stay home. In the end though Geoff would always end up coming to my house and try to make it all better or cheer me up. So everyone assumed that I was making Geoff leave the parties! This was DEF NOT true! Sometimes I told him it even wasn't a good idea that he come over because I just needed some space or time to cool off! Geoff could have stayed at the parties if he wanted to! There was no ball and chain attatched to me! That's the last kind of gf I would want to be. Now there was Geoff's 21st birthday... and now this is where shit really started to hit the fan a little. All of the sudden *Debbie came up with this "brilliant" idea that "everyone" could go to the bars, but oops... Geoff's gf is not 21 yet! HELLO!!! Who the hell would be like "Sure! I would love for all of my friends to go out without me and me stay home and stick my thumb up my ass!!! Doesn't that sound SUPER!" I didn't understand why my "friends" would want to ditch me, and that's when I started to realize that my friends were not such good friends after all. I dunno maybe it's just me but I always had friends where if one friend couldn't go because they were too young (I'm talking about truing 18) then we would just go and do something else! We would never be like "ohh sorry too bad!" I mean am I crazy? This is when I started to have a problem with *Debbie. She just wouldn't let it go that Geoff was NOT under her control anymore and the more I saw all of this the more I saw how she was like this with everyone! It was *Debbie's way or the highway! So I can understand now why she thought I was so controlling and that's only because she los control, and I'm glad she did because now Geoff is free to do what he REALLY wants and not do things just to please *Debbie. She has this crazy "loyalty" to people but really it's just her "control" over them and when she loses the control and they tell her to take a hike she's gone and you're dead to her. What kind of friend is that? It isn't. So now all that shit was going on and then the big bang... Geoff had a huge party for *Debbie's birthday, I stayed up late and started talking to this guy *Rich and it was obvious that *Rich was pretty drunk but I was like alright I'll listen. Later I see him hanging out of his car puking. I felt bad and even though I didn't really like the kid I was like ehhh I'll atleast get him inside and put him on a bed so that he won't wake up in a parking lot the next moring with rocks stuck to his face... on the way inside though he started hitting on me, but who takes a drunk person seriously? So I was like eww no come on just get in the house. I got him into a bedroom where there were 2 beds and a girl *Betty was already in there, I threw him and myself on the bed because he was clinging to me and that bitch was heavy! At that point I started saying ok let me go I have to go to bed whispering because that other girl was sleeping (so i thought) but then she got up and *Rich grabbed my face and kissed me. See I don't know if this girl saw that or not but that was NOT in my intention to happen. It threw me off gaurd and I pushed him down and told him off and went to bed... so see it didn't look good but there was no way in hell I cheated on Geoff! Of course *Betty was nowhere to be found when I told him off... so this is why there was the rumor... what really pissed me off was that I told *Debbie everything the day after! Even before Geoff! Well she took *Betty's story and all of the sudden I was the open target. It was rediculous, *Debbie and this other kid *John came to Geoff's house and told him that they needed to talk to him outside, I could tell something was the matter because *Debbie looked like she was going to shit herself. They ran outside and I was like ehhh whatever is the matter I can't be bothered I'm too tired to deal with it and so I stayed inside and thank GOD I did. They told Geoff that I had hooked up with *Rich and that I had also previously about nine months kissed some other guy at a party. Geoff told me all of this after he got me in the car and I didn't know what to say, I knew for SURE nothing happend with *Rich but the other guy and the time that they were talking about at that party I don't even remember half the night, I was shitfaced! So for that I can't even defend myself because to this day I have no idea if it's true or not but if it was true then why didn't anyone say anything sooner? If that is true then I regret it and it made me realize that getting that drunk is bad news because rumors can start and even if they're not true you can't defend yourself because you don't even remember what you were doing or what the truth is and that scares the shit out of me. In the case of the other guy *John I don't consider him a backstabber really because I've never liked him and he never liked me, we were never really friends. He was and asshole who had no respect for people in general unless he had some sort of history with you and ignorant as hell. So that's what I am only mad at *Debbie and *Betty. I think *Betty still sticks to her story, and even *Rich confirmed to Geoff that I didn't hook up with him and he was in the wrong. So everyone knows that story is bogus except the people that don't want it to be, and well... everyone sees through them like they're clean windows with no screens. You would think I would have gone through all of this in high school! but no... college :D It's really amazing how people never grow up no matter how old they get. As for *Debbie I hope she sees the light one day and starts proceeding into maturity and doesn't lose anymore friends because of her controling andvindictive behavior. To her I say, You're opinions arn't always right, your assumptions arn't always right, life is CHANGE, embrace it don't fight it because it's going to happen anyway even if it has to take you kicking and screaming and that only prolongs it and makes it hurt worse. Live and let live. In my opinion she'll never change, but it would be a delighted suprise for me to find out that she proved me wrong. I wish her the best with her life, just as long as she isn't part of mine.
So that's how I feel. She says the whole situation doesn't bother her anymore but I think it does still bother her, if it doesn't then she was never really a friend to Geoff either. I admit it still bothers me (y else would I write about it so elaborately)? It's something I think a lot of people deal with and we just need to lose the hate so that both parties can move on and embrace life.
I really think sometimes we need to seperate ourselves from ourselves and look at what we are really doing. It's so easy to get caught up in something that sometimes at the end we just end up hurting ourselves and others for no reason because of bad judment calls or because we just are blind to what we're doing.
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